Wednesday, June 2, 2010

It's like we never left

Days like today make it seem like we never left at all. After a fairly seamless transition back to NJ (thanks to my friends and family), we’ve settled back into our house nicely. It’s still small. There’s still a strip club (or two..or three) down the street. But, it’s our home. It’s the house where we started our family – memories of Charlie and Moose are woven into the fabric of these walls. It’s the house where we started with mismatched furniture. It’s where my son took his first steps. He said his first word on the living room floor.

Everything here is familiar...even predictable. I know the people at Dunkin Donuts. They know my son likes chocolate munchkins. I know the man down the street doesn’t own a shirt. I know the mail comes at 11am. The postman knows where my house is despite the crazy neighborhood numbering system.

After unpacking most of our things, we stepped right back into the flow. Perhaps, the short stay in PA was more like a long, often twisted, vacation. It never truly felt like home, but then again it wasn’t supposed to. The apartment was temporary. I never even fully unpacked.

There are things I’ll miss about PA: the extra space, the serene environment, the lack of traffic, the affordability of our dream home…even the people were polite. If given a chance, Pennsylvania may have eventually become familiar. It may have even become my home.

Today was a beautiful day. It wasn’t beautiful just because of the weather. It certainly wasn’t beautiful because of the broken down truck and hotdog van outside of my house. Today was beautiful because of how it felt to be home. As my son and I took our morning stroll along the bay, I decided to take it all in. I felt like I could see for miles. It was so clear. The sound of the seagulls…the crash of tide…the smell of the water…all have the distinctive feeling of “home”. We didn’t get days like this in PA.

Today was beautiful because of the joy of being with my family…of being with my son. We didn’t do much. We mostly played silly games in the yard. My son threw the ball for our dogs. He giggled and chased after them. He asked them to lie down so he could sit next to them and pet them. I could feel his joy.

On days like today it’s clear - maybe this is where we belong.

Lastly, on a side note, I had a tremendous email response for my last entry. There are so many of us in a difficult situation. It was a pleasure emailing with each of you. Your support is amazing. I hope I helped as well. Above all else, it is especially nice to know we are not alone. So…keep it coming! Let’s hear more from you. Leave me a comment on facebook or on this page. Feel free to continue to email me:

I look forward to hearing from you again!

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